these dog days

i read this the other day and it really resonated with me. yesterday was one of those dog days of motherhood. although, looking at the little cutie i'm wondering how i could ever feel that way! it is a proven fact that kids are cuter when they're asleep - whether they're asleep in the picture or asleep in real life - cuter.

anyhow, up late waiting for the biggest, and then up early with the littlest. which is weird and frustrating because delaney is never the first awake. it's one of those weird cosmic days that just start off off. we cuddled for an hour before addie joined us. another weird twist, because 9 1/2 times out of 10, frankie wakes up first.

 we ate breakfast, got dressed, and out the door for gymnastics. of course, we got going 5 minutes late because frankie ate slow, and there were some definite listening problems.

gymanstics started rocky but then she pulled it together! 

go, frankie! 

here she is, timidly getting going.

and fully engaged. 

she loves the bars!

cute little gymnast.

 forward rolling off her pad.

at least she's participating!

she passed off on 1 skill for this session. oh frankie-girl. :)

then it was addie's turn. she's been a little miss sassy pants lately.

she pushes her luck a lot and has been having some listening troubles.

forward rolling down, down, down.

after gymnastics i did something i hate to do at nap time and with los tres in tow. i went to the commissary. it was a quick trip to scout for gluten free options for my brother for the reunion. i was pleasantly surprised that they had a lot more than i thought they would.

the girls were... loud, and silly, and a handful.

it was lunchtime and nap time and everyone was ready.

so i let them open a bag of pretzel rods, grabbed some lunchables and we were on our way out. 

dun, dun, dun!

then as we are paying for our food, the girls, acting silly, spilled an *entire* bag of pretzel rods. all over and under the cart. so then i got to try to maneuver around the big cart and clean them up, all while 4 commissary employees watched. it was just the straw that broke this mama camels back.

ugh. shoot, i don't care about a bag of pretzels! i'd spill 5 entire bags to let my children feel loved and happy. but when i lose my temper over something so silly, i know i'm not helping them to feel that. and i feel that i am failing at this awesome stewardship that Heavenly Father has entrusted to me. i somehow thought that after 17 years of motherhood i'd be better at this.

on our way home delaney got her second car nap of the day, which ended as soon as we pulled into the garage. then i changed no less than 5 very poopy diapers. and woe is me, life is hard. it was a long, dog day.

and then, to top it off, when i got home  i realized that my yoga skirt was on inside out. 

all.day.

just typing this makes me feel silly and even more frustrated with myself. blah, hello complaining sally! 

i am so blessed.

 i want to do so much better and i have great room for improvement. 

what a day. 

tomorrow will be better.

********

I am overwhelmed, infatuated, love struck and completely unhinged. Especially on the nights they bring in wild flowers and all the ever-loving mud in the world. 

(or, as in my case, every messy flower and leaf they can find)

I am full and fulfilled.
I am older and comfortable in my skin.
I am about the work of raising tiny humans.

I am out of my mind and in my calling and desperate for five minutes alone and a lifetime together.

I want to stop time, tame my fears, bottle their dreams, live a hundred summers of dripping, sticky, chocolate swirl ice cream. And in between I hang onto my faith, my temper, and my sense of humor with my fingernails.

These are the good days, the glory days, the slow-as-molasses days. These are the fast years, the wonder years, the how-do-I-find-words years.

lisa-jo baker