Coming home

**Going through Blogger and I found this completely written post from my time in El Paso with my mom. It somehow didn’t publish and I don’t want to lose it.***

My cousin Tracy and her husband flew in Thursday (2/24) evening. While they visited with mom we washed sheets and made beds. Alli had been preparing for arrivals for a few days, so there wasn’t much to do. 

On Friday afternoon (2/25) we brought momma home. Sara came with me to the hospital, we got permission to have 2 visitors again. They had told us she’d be ready to go by 9:30, but then we ended up having to wait till 2. She was restless and anxious all day. Just ready to come home. They let me ride with her in the ambulance (in a 5-point harness, just to add a little ridiculousness) and I held her hand all through the hospital and into the ambulance. Tom was already there and she had the biggest smile when she saw her baby, it was the sweetest. 

We’ve all taken turns holding her hand and talking to her when she’s awake. She’s not been alone at all, and I am so grateful for that. 

Christian and Frey arrived that afternoon, and then Lexi, Carter, and amy that evening. A friend from the ward brought dinner and it was so nice to be all together and not have to coordinate dinners. 

This baby boy has brought so much joy. Babies have such a sweet way of making hard things softer. Nanny loves seeing him and he’s been very interested in her and her bed. 

My mom has grown more uncomfortable, and we’ve been learning as we go with each new phase. We all were tending to crowd her and offer ideas to help, so Frey came up with the idea to take shifts. We each signed up for 2-hour shifts where you sit next to her, are the main hand holder and only offerer of relief. We obviously help our and offer suggestions, but it’s been a good system. Also important for us to have clearly defined times that we can go on walks and take breaks. 

This is healing. His limp is not as pronounced, but he is definitely an apprehensive walker for a one-year-old and also a sideways walker, like a crab. I think maybe he feels more steady that way? The labs from his most recent blood draw show his numbers improving as well. 

Joe’s family came over Friday night and Joseph and Brady got to see my mom for the first time since her stroke. Joseph especially loved being here, so Sara dropped him off on Saturday while Brady had practice. He loves Carter. 💕

We’ve gone for a few walks and that has been helpful for everyone. It’s so nice and in the 60°’s. 

I changed his diaper before nap one day and had to laugh at how relaxed he was. 

My mom isn’t talking anymore. She rarely shakes or nods her head either. But she has been hugging and it is the sweetest tender mercy. My first hug was at the hospital. She pulled herself up as best she could, and then pulled me in close and I started bawling, obvi. She’s given everyone a sweet hug. 

Saturday was also this precious boys birthday. Papa bought Chico’s tacos for lunch and then dinner delivered by the ward, followed by his requested ice cream cake. It wasn’t the happiest birthday, but I am so grateful he was able to be here to surround nanny with so much love. He’s such a good boy and I’m so very proud of him. 

Before joe and family left we surrounded our mom and told her it was ok for her to go. That we will be here for each other and we’ll be ok. How loved and special she is and how much we will miss her, but that we are ready. We had a family prayer and it was just a really beautiful evening. 

We read through the 70 things we love about her that we’d done for her 70th birthday and we laughed and cried. 

This morning I took baby boy to the airport. He has to be back to work tomorrow, but I’m so glad he made it a priority to come. He and jeanne missed their friends wedding and it was emotionally and physically difficult for him to be here. He had to drive 6 hours to Philadelphia to get flights that worked, but he loves his nanny and wanted to be here. 

In between our shifts we’ve been cleaning out closets and drawers. That is an emotional task that some of us are better at than others - definitely not my gift. We found papa’s wand so I had to send D the magician a picture of it. We’ve each got a box where we’re putting our treasures to take home.  

Tonight joe brought over a brisket and potatoes he’d smoked. Then we read through family predictions from 1992 - yikes! 😂 we laughed till our bellies hurt, it feels so good to laugh. My mom is awake less and less, but still holding hands and hugging when she can. We’re all exhausted, but we’re working together to love her through the end of this mortal journey. If I am as surrounded by love as she is, I will count myself blessed. 

 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Proverbs 31:28