A year

 

We made it through a year of orphanhood. 

November 17th. 

I took the one Thanksgiving/Christmas picture to send to Bubba and Lu.

Reba has a song that says "The man I thought could never die has been dead almost a year," and that's been ringing in my head for weeks. I was emotional leading up to the day. I'd be busy doing something and my dad would pop into my head, so I think he was nearby quite a bit. I'll write more about it when I get to that day, but I was sealed to my parents a few weeks ago and that was so special and I cried so much, that I didn't cry on Monday. I texted with my siblings and talked to Amy. 

One more little hug from our dad - a small insurance policy we didn't know about came through and we each received a check on Monday. Not a coincidence at all.

Today was the day I shared about his passing on social media, so I had my blubbering cry this morning as I looked through pictures and read through comments. I miss my dad so much!

I have been saving all of my parents text messages as a PDF so I can keep them, but delete them from my phone, and that has been really sweet to see how much we texted and how often we spent time together. When I am feeling mean to myself I think I didn't do enough, I got frustrated with him too much, I could have included him more, but reading through our texts I see how much I invited him and enjoyed having him around. I know both my earthly father and my Heavenly Father want me to know that I'm okay and to be kind and gentle with myself.