Anyway, my dr. said that unexplained shortness of breath is a weird post-Covid symptom. Then she noticed a large nodule on my thyroid and recommended I get an ultrasound on it. She also prescribed me an inhaler.
I figured out that when I can breath through my nose, I do much better and the shortness of breath isn’t nearly as bad. So I tried to do a saline nasal rinse and saltwater throat gargle, and, long story short, I threw up. Like, a lot. I know I can’t gargle saltwater, but I thought I could try mind over matter.
After that I couldn’t catch my breath for the rest of the night. I have had mild anxiety for years, but never to the extent that I couldn’t breath. It was scary and uncomfortable and all I could think about. I was awake till 3am that night.
The next day was Carolee’s funeral, and I was going to speak on the healing power of the atonement, but I was still feeling so awful. I took my inhaler that morning, but that made me shaky and cold. Sitting in the chapel I really couldn’t breath. I had Matt come walk with me outside to try to calm down. I even had him read over my talk in case I couldn’t speak. I managed to speak, but it wasn’t my greatest showing. I love Carolee so much and I still kind of feel like I couldn’t properly grieve her because of how awful I was feeling. But then I also think she doesn’t want all of us grieving for her, so then I feel better.
Anyway, since my dr checked my lungs and my oxygen saturation has always been good, I felt like maybe it was just really bad anxiety, I wasn’t sure what i was so anxious about, but since then I’ve been trying to be so calm and taking time to do calming activities like coloring, yoga, and walking. I set up an appt with our counselor and tried meditation, but I think mindfulness is more up my alley. I’ve learned a lot and am trying to keep the best parts in my life.
So more long story long, after the funeral I got a telehealth appt and got an anti anxiety medicine. And then I slept till that 9 that night. Then I was up all night again struggling to breath and trying not to freak out.
Matt and I talked and prayed and that next morning he took me to the ER. I had spent a lot of hours thinking and by that point I was pretty sure the problems breathing were because of my thyroid. That made me feel better to have it probably caused by something that was not just a weird unpredictable and unexplained Covid symptom. I do feel like the covid infection caused the nodules to grow exponentially though. I don’t have anything to base that off of, but that’s my theory. It feels like I’m being strangled all the time. I went to the Er so they could run all the tests and I wouldn’t have to wait weeks and weeks, because I couldn’t really function.
Since my dads 12 hour stint in the ER getting his monoclonal antibodies we had learned that the best time to go is first thing in the morning, so I got there at 6:30 and was seen immediately. I had a great doctor that ran every test and found everything looked good, except that my thyroid was enlarged, and also they couldn’t do an ultrasound because that’s not emergency medicine. She gave me a nice decongestant and sent me on my way armed with a ton of good info.
The ER dr also referred me to a pulmonologist that is studying post covid shortness of breath. Initially they gave me an appt for several weeks out, but after I pressed she talked to the dr and I was able to be seen the next day. And she was so glad I already had X-rays and CT scans available.
The followijg day I did a breath test, and then the next day my dad and I drove out to Waldorf to get my thyroid ultrasound, since everyone in the county was booked up. The pulmonologist even tried to pull some strings, but no luck. Another blessing from going to the ER and then the pulmonologist, is that the ultrasound people at the Bean building told me where I could find a clos’ish appt.
It turns out I have 4 thyroid nodules - the largest one being 4cm (golf ball sized), then 2.7cm, 2.2cm, and .9cm. No wonder I can’t breath.
I have been feeling much better, or probably just have gotten better at handling the breathing difficulties. I still feel like I’m being choked, and some days are better than others. Some nights I still struggle to sleep, but I am listening to my body and being gentle with myself.
Tomorrow I’ll have a fine needle aspiration biopsy of the 2 largest nodules.
There was one really terrible covid day. The babies were sad, I felt sick, everyone was on edge, and tired of being stuck inside. I went up to my room to cry and to pray and ask Heavenly Father why I couldn’t feel the many prayers being offered in our behalf. And then I started to. Just like that, I felt peace and comfort and love. I’m so grateful for a Heavenly Father who meets me exactly where I am, always.
After the initial I can’t breath panic, I have come to feel calm and peaceful about this latest trial too. Having a needle stuck in my neck sounds awful, but I’m not anxious or scared about it. I’m ready to take care of this (hopefully just with meds) and move on with my newfound better care of self and gratitude for all of our blessings.
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