The Ray's Days: Back

Grief causes brain fog. That sucks, because I already have a terrible memory. This particular snafu actually wasn’t my fault though. On Monday I found my sisters in the backyard chatting and adding water to the pool. I told them I didn’t think we needed to do that and they both assured me that it was too low. We went inside and Alli said she’d set an alarm to turn it off. Fast forward to Tuesday morning and I’m washing my hands in the kitchen and just happen to glance at the pool, only to realize the water never got turned off and was overflowing. I startle shouted “oh no! The pool!” and ran as fast as I could to turn it off. We laughed and laughed at how silly my sisters are and how they should have listened to me.

Alexis and Carter went home Tuesday morning. Lexi got more nanny hugs that anyone and my mom loved seeing Carter, and I am so glad they came. Carter and Emmett are best friends and were so exited to see each other.

These two! 😍

Adi has been biscuit making and sent me lots of pictures. Also emails from school. It was fun to be able to email back and forth with her. She is growing up and is funny and kind and ridiculous in all the right ways.

On Wednesday morning our dad flew home. Amy and I took him to the airport early, and then went to the house to comb through things. By 11:00 we’d already been up and working for hours and were ready for a break, so we treated ourselves to pedicures. There were only 2 employees so we got to sit in the massage chairs for an extra long time which was perfect. Then we ate delicious Mexican food. Food makes sadness feel lighter.

I see bits of my mom everywhere. We had been talking Wordle and comparing scores. Amy finished first Thursday morning and asked if anyone else had done it. One by one we completed it with a sad “oh.” That’s fitting.

Things that I loved before are having a heightened meaning for me.

More Adi from back home. 💕

We walked back home after pedi’s and lunch and worked for as long as we could. For years my mom had been cleaning out and getting rid of things, so it was all very organized, there was just still a lot of stuff. We each pulled aside anything we wanted and there were no disagreements. We left some furniture and totes of things we’d like to keep, and we’ll fly down and rent a truck to bring them here at some point in the next few weeks.

That night we went to Joe’s for a bbq. We played Mario Kart with Joseph and Brady and sat on their pretty patio telling stories. It was a lovely evening, and then when we got back to our hotel 20 minutes away I realized I’d forgotten my purse. I pretty much take my purse everywhere and can’t remember a time I’ve ever forgotten it, but you know, grief.

Also grief induces sleep problems. Also, these 3 old ladies remained in east coast time, so every morning we were up by 5. On Friday morning we went for a long walk around this cute park.

We got breakfast with Frey and taylor at the most delicious hole in the wall where I got a breakfast burrito, water bottle, donut, and bag of pastries to take home all for $9. I’d for sure be a frequent flyer if I still lived there.

We went back to the house for one last sweep and added a few more things to our pile to bring home. It was hard to be in, and hard to leave her house.

We had a few hours to kill, so we drove downtown and walked. It was beautiful 70° weather the whole time, and I haven’t been downtown El Paso in ages. We walked to the border bridge and reminisced about taking the trolley across the border for lunch and shopping.

Then it was off to the airport. We grabbed lunch while we waited. Amy’s flight left 20 minutes before ours, so one last goodbye and then we were on our way to Dallas.

Southwest was so good to me. I already had a flight booked to visit my mom for a week, and they switched both of my tickets, last minute, for no extra charge. I’ve always been a fan of SW, but now I’m a super fan. Alli and I split some appetizers in Dallas, and arrived home to Reagan around 10:30. We took a cab to pick up Alli’s car and arrived home just after 1am. Tired and wired, but good to be home.

In other news, this little cutie has his mommy’s eyes and will be receiving his brand new baby goggles any day now.

They chose these ones in white and I think he’ll be the cutest nerd ever.

These last few years have been something else.

Bubba was going through pictures from his wedding, and sent this one to Lu and I. She said “and where am I?!”

So he photoshopped her in and we all laughed. Why is photoshop so funny?

Frankie and Adi had a temple trip Saturday, so I woke up to see them off at 6 (Matt had a mandatory drill weekend - worst timing) and then went back to bed. I came down later that morning to a dream come true - my very own Edible Arrangement! I’ve always wanted one, and Amy always tells me they’re not that good, so to prove it she sent me one. I am loving it so far.

I was majorly bummed to miss Frankie’s first time in the temple, especially since Matt couldn’t go either. I’m grateful for good friends that I knew would take care of our girls.

They loved their day in the temple. Frankie is ready to do some temple hopping and is so excited to volunteer in the DC temple open house soon.

These two are growing up! Such cute little friends.

When we were in El Paso the sibs had been talking about our moms spirit animal and after a few suggestions, we settled on cat, because obviously. Since then I’ve never seen more random cats. Cats while we walked in the mornings, cats in the background as we watched tv, cats popping up on our neighborhood Fb page, everywhere cats. Little messages from momma.

Even cat ads. I have never googled anything about cats, so this feels very random, except not random at all.

Speaking of momma, that is some kind of hair do. She also has a picture similar to this, but with a bow stuck in the side of her hair. I love it so much!

One of my favorites.

I went to our ward for the first time in a really long time. With my surgery and visiting other wards, it’s been over a month. I got lots of hugs and it was good to be with our ward family. I had a temple open house meeting and then quick womens conference meeting, and ready or not, life starts back up again tomorrow.

Brenda shared this a few days before my mom passed, and we all had a good cry. It’s becoming more real and the sadness is settling.