It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

That title really sums it up. Life is so beautiful and I believe the afterlife is too, but also the transition can be really hard, for those going and staying. 

We arrived Friday late afternoon and dropped the girls and our stuff at Amy’s. Amy and I headed to the hospital and sandy and Matt held down the fort and got pizza for everybody. So happy to spend time with my dad!

Hospice was bringing supplies Saturday, so in the morning Matt was gonna head to the hospital and I was helping Amy organize and unpack some of dads things, but then he called and really wanted me to go to the hospital too. I was always planning on it, I just went earlier than my plan. And I was so tired. I’m not sleeping well, so when he napped I tried to nap. And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids (nurses). This blissful almost sleep lasted about 10 minutes.  

And then we were up and visiting. 

He’s most comfortable sitting up, so it takes awhile to prop all his pillows and get his position just right. It’s hard to see him so uncomfortable. He’s been going through this for so long. 

Saturday was crazy day. Since we just went through this with my mom and I know I won’t remember things, I’m writing details and taking all the pictures. 

We had hoped to bring him home on hospice on Saturday, but then the hospice company couldn’t come till Monday, so that’s what we thought was happening. Then Saturday afternoon a Dr came in and we were chatting and she asked when we’d like to take him home, and I was like, asap, and she was like ok let’s do it. She said she’d write the rx’s for his comfort meds and they could arrange transport with an ambulance and as long as we were confident in our abilities to care for him before the hospice crew came, that we could take him. Yay!

Then the care coordinator burst our bubble and said she probably couldn’t get an ambulance till Sunday. Then a few hours later she said she’d found one that would come at 5. Yay again! 

Change is hard when you already have a lot going on and my dad was getting very anxious throughout the afternoon as things were changing. He didn’t sleep the rest of the day and was just antsy and uncomfortable. 

Joe arrived from Texas and Matt stayed all day too, so it was nice to have 3 of us to keep dad company. 

So 5:00 o’clock came and went, and no transfer. At 6:20 his nurse said they’d just heard from the ambulance and they were running 2 hours late. I was like, ok, no big deal, it’s already been an hour and 20 minutes, so they should be here in 40 minutes and she was all, no, 2 hours from now. Whomp whomp. 

So 8:20 rolls around and still nothing. With everything going on, I was at the nurses station frequently throughout the day, so once again, there I was. They called the ambulance and they said it would be *another* 60-90 minutes! 

We had talked about the possibility of transferring him ourselves, but the care coordinator and Dr felt like it would be easier and better to take the ambulance, but I wasn’t sure the ambulance was ever really gonna come. 

We conferred again (20th time for the day) and decided we were ready to break him out and we could handle it. 

They came in to remove his line and asked if they could teach some of the nurses with less experience, so everyone piled in and it was a real party. 

My view from the bed. He knew several of these nurses, and more importantly, they knew him and put him at ease. 

Then the fun began. Matt and Joe went to pick up his prescriptions, more on that to come, and Amy came with her oxygen tank and minivan and we were off. I was with my mom for her last ride and now (maybe?) my dad. 

Amy and I helped him up the outside steps and then he was beat. He hadn’t slept, his anxiety was through the roof, and he’d just exerted himself a ton. 

We gave him 30 minutes to relax, and then Matt and Joe were straight up hero firemen and fireman carried him up two sets of 8 steps! My dad has lost a lot of weight, but he’s retaining a ton of fluid in his legs, so he is not light! It was super impressive and we were all super grateful when we situated dad comfortably in his room. 

It was such a long day and so annoying that we stayed at the hospital an extra 10 hours and ended up doing the thing we’d talked about doing in the first place - bringing him home on our own. Admittedly, there were a few times I wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing, but it worked out. 

The kids were so good. Sandy fed them lunch and then Amy gave them each $20 and Kristi took them to the mall and let them loose. Adi got some laneige lip stuff (she’s obsessed), Frankie got a sweatshirt, and Lanes got a bunch of little things from 5 Below. And they all had a great day. Adi fell asleep on the couch and since we’re in comfort mode for everyone, we let her stay there for the night. 

This is hecka long, so I’ll end at Saturday night. The best of times is all of us rallying and doing hard things because we love our dad and the worst of times is that we have to already.